Relationships

1. Purpose to be in the will of God. Have a personal foundation in the Lord. Let God work freely in your life, and move as He gives you direction. Listen to that small still voice seek to know your purpose in God! Know that when all else fails His word does not, so let His word be a guide and a sounding board.
   
   
2. Be happy! Understand that happiness is not something that marriage creates (though it can be shared throughout). Only God can give happiness not you. As a special note if happiness is what you are looking for, then don’t use an individual as a vehicle to get there; it is a painful state to know that you were the vehicle by which someone used, exchanging your unhappiness for theirs.
   
   
3. Seek to be equally yoked. Marry someone whom you share the same foundational beliefs with. If you believe in Christ and someone else believes in Buddha (for example), you will encounter challenges when you look for a foundational truth to base ‘correct behavior’ on. Seek to be ‘like minded’.
   
   
4. Prepare, prepare, prepare. Preparation precedes blessings. Examine your state of pliability. Can you bend? Is it your way or the highway? Ask yourself, are you open to change? Know that God consistently looks for new wine skins to pour into. Purpose to correct your deficiencies.
   
   
5. Soul search. Ask yourself is what I am, what I need to be, for who & what I want? What you are looking to attract, you need to be. If you know that some characteristic or trait may be a hindrance in your future relationship, pray, go on a fast (something’s only come out that way!), and seek to gain insight on how you may better yourself.

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6. Invest in yourself. Do you consistently look for ways to improve your self? Do you read the word of God, or materials that specifically deal with helping you change yourself for the better (whose messages and understandings align with the word as well)? If not consider buying a book or tape series that deal with your challenge or concern. Buy some nice clothes and keep them clean, you don’t have to have a lot to be consistent. Get your hair cut or done. Get a manicure or pedicure. Keep your clothes and shoes clean.
   
   
7. Deal with your financial concerns. One of the major issues that many married couples face is financial in nature. Someone once said ‘Without finance there is no romance’. Techniquely you can still be romantic, but it will definitely not be extravagant (with dozens of roses and trips to France). Focus on having some money in the bank, or some ‘good credit’ or to God be the glory! Both!
   
   
8. Focus on developing your communication skills. The key to any relationship is communication. Always be truthful and tell the other person how you feel. If you don’t you will continuously be forced to deal with the same issues. When getting to know someone ask questions! Where do you see yourself in 5 years? How is your relationship with your family? How many kids do you want?
   
   
9. Seek Godly council! In the multitude of Godly council there is wisdom. Don’t look for insight and experience from someone who doesn’t have it, talk to individuals whom you know and trust that do. Your pastor or couples who love the Lord and have been where you are trying to go; ask them ‘What did it take to get where you are?’, ‘What can I do to prepare for marriage?’ and then LISTEN!
   
   
10. Look for the right one. The best thing to do is busy yourself in the work of the Lord. Try not to settle. Ladies a man should have to interrupt you to get your attention, and he should be making the effort to pursue you, if not he may not value you as he should. Brothers don’t expect to ‘find’ a wife sitting at home, get out, look around, and seek! (Visit a sister church), don’t be afraid to say “Praise the Lord” but don’t be out of order if you hear “Leave me alone“, do so. When you finally find the one for you, you will know, there should be a peace in your spirit and an unquestioning resolve that says ‘This is the right one’.

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